it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
