ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
