i barfeds in our rink
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
