dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize