Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
