covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
