I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I want a musical about memes.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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