My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize