So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
