my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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