You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
