where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
