whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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