i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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