Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
