You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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