So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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