I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
