So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
