The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
