she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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