My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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