stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I need to calm my uterus...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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