woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
