he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just pee around me
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
