How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
