nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The beer is more important than you right now.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
