Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
