I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
