I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
