Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
