Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
