Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
