She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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