I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
