Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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