super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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