ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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