Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
