Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
