Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
