Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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