I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize