Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Someone came in the potted fern
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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