i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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