at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
