Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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