I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
