You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
