she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize