Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
A bitchslap is in order.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
