im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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