Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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