idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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