no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
