her vagine was all disorganized.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
