shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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