God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
