I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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