This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
