Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
vagina is talking i cant
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
