I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
