i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
